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回鄉偶書

少小離家老大回， 鄉音無改鬢毛衰；
兒童相見不相識， 笑問客從何處來。

Coming home

I left home young. I return old;
Speaking as then, but with hair grown thin;
And my children, meeting me, do not know me.
They smile and say: "Stranger, where do you come from?
- He Zhizhang

So it's come to this. One day more.

One more day and I will be flying 10,000 meters above the ground in a sardine-can on wings, packed full with tourists, business people and other fascinating characters.

I will keep this post short since I am quite busy with work (stuff I need to have ready before I leave) and I don't have much more to say right about now.

Except;
I slept for 4 hours last night so I'm a bit tired. I went out with Chi for one last time before leave to Finland. Ate some sushi, which is among my new favorite foods. If there is someone there who hasn't tried sushi, I suggest you fix your lack of cultural and culinary sophistication as soon as possible. It's raw fish - get over it! It tastes awesome!

Aside from sushi, we went walking around Hong Kong's Kowloon area. Namely, we walked from Mongkok to East Tsimshatsui. I never told about Hong Kong's nightly appearance before but there's something about it I like a lot. I can't really place my finger on it exactly, but just walking in the almost-empty streets of this big city, under its neon-lights and tall buildings, is just awesome. You can actually walk for hours and hours in a totally urban area without need to think about its end.

You can walk through central of Tampere in more or less 15-20 minutes.

So, what's so cool about just walking? ...I don't know. I just like it.
Maybe it's just that this place is so hectic and busy during day-time that it's really relaxing to see this place so calm at 3am. Very few people anywhere, very little traffic. It's dark (except for the neon-lights) and even if taking dark streets in a big city might sound alarming, it feels safe.

The sight of Hong Kong island after the big buildings turn off their show-off lights is much more spectacular than the one showed to tourists. It is more subtle, more peaceful. I like the serenity of a big city. It's different.

Going to Finland will be great. Coming back to Hong Kong will equal that.

Finland has its lakes, its saunas, barbecue places and natural serenity. Those I like. However, there are very little things in common between Finland and Hong Kong and things I like in Hong Kong mostly surpass those in Finland. Maybe when I'm older I will once again appreciate my fatherland more.

Bon Voyage, to me!

Almost holiday.

Only a few more days to go and I'm off to Finland! Two weeks of relaxing will do me good. I'm sure I will find the general scenery very relaxing and good for resting my mind. Not too many distractions around to mess up my zen-like concentration. All nice, all peaceful, all boring: just what I need right now.

To be honest, with my time here I've grown more distant to Finland. Of course my family and friends are still there but aside from those, there is very little for me there. It is a dull place, really, it is.

I was just thinking yesterday what if I now had to suddenly move back to Finland, and I have to say, I found that to be a really repulsive thought. Just the thought of having to go back... No, not going to happen. Not anytime soon. This is my home now and this is where my life is.

I understand people who like/love Finland, I do. There are a lot of good things there and things to cherish. And I do look forward going there for my vacation. However, I wait as eagerly to get back to HK. Anyway, I think this is one of those matters of personal opinion and personal experience. People who haven't been outside Finland, lived in a foreign country can't really know how it goes; and aside from experience you still need to be the kind of person who actually appreciates living somewhere else.

Anyways. Going to Finland. Huzzah!

I hope the weather will be nice. At least it'll be nicer since I know it won't be hot. Actually, I don't even mind if it rains because it won't be as warm and I would like to have at least one or two days when it's actually cool enough for me to wear a jacket! What luxury! Wearing a jacket!

One of the biggest problems in Hong Kong in terms of clothing is that you can buy all sorts of cool, trendy, fashionable stuff but you really need to plan whether you can wear them at all. This is especially true with jackets and long-sleeve-shirts. For most part of the year, it's too warm to wear anything more than a t-shirt... and even a t-shirt is usually too much. Honestly, most days you need to change shirts at least once; usually twice.

What about pants then? Well, when it comes to foreigners, wearing shorts will instantly label you as a tourist. Am I a tourist? No. So, I don't wear shorts.
Therefore I walk around wearing jeans or other long trousers or what ever.
I don't know how much it actually helps but at least some of the hawkers tend to leave me alone. Not all of them, however, not enough of them. I need some Hawker Repellent Bat-Spray.

I have been planning a "day as a tourist" in Hong Kong so that I could bravely wear shorts, take my camera and take some nice pictures, and go about Hong Kong as only a tourist can. So far I've been reluctant to do so, however. I don't really like tourists that much here and I don't want to be associated as one. It's a stupid prejudice, I know, but I can't help it. Disagree with me; I don't care. Call me an asshole; I'll agree. Tourists suck.

Anyway, I'm leaving to Finland Friday morning. A nice 9 hours in a fully-packed sardine-can awaits. Can't wait! I hope the in-flight-movie's good at least. Then a few weeks of relaxing in a backwater city of 20,000 in a (hopefully) good weather, trying to put HK out of my mind for a while and enjoy the company of family and friends. Then another 9 hours back to HK, and back to living the life I've grown to like. Yes. This will be my vacation.

On a side-note: I uploaded a few pictures to Camera Obscura.

Dick: "Gosh, Economics is sure a dull subject."
Bruce: "Oh, you must be jesting, Dick. Economics dull? The glamour, the romance of commerce... Hmm. It's the very lifeblood of our country's society."

啤酒

Generally I think it's a bad thing to drink every day of the weekend - especially on Sunday, but that's how it all went down this time. I don't mind though. I had a good time.

Friday evening:
Out with Toni, playing games in arcade and drinking beer. Didn't drink too much and didn't even stay up that late. Got home with MTR (which is also a code-word for an early return (since the MTR stops running at 00:30am)).

Actually. "Got home with MTR" can mean two things. Like explained, it can mean "I got home early" since the last train leaves at 00:30am and this way you'll be home at 01.30 am at latest. This makes it a milk-train option. I'll explain later.

The second option for "Got home with MTR" of course refers to the opposite which is to miss the last train and take the first one next morning, which is at 06:00am. This is the true Hard-Core version of a night out. You know you're been out for a nice amount of time when you can watch the sunrise in the train and you're among the only ones traveling out of central.

Aside from the two MTR options; between 00:30am and 06:00am there's also the option of a Bus. Route N21 can take you to Tung Chung all-through the night in 20 minute intervals. This, however, is the shitty option if you're at all drunk. After a certain amount of drinks, the shaking and waving bus is not where you want to be. Actually, I would prefer a ride on rickshaw driven by a pack of mentally disabled baboons on Guangzhou-Shenzhen freeway. That is how much it sucks.

So, yes. Friday evening I got home with MTR. Got a nice rest and that's about it.

Saturday evening:
Again, out to play some games in arcades and drink some beer. This time Markus joined us too and we had happy times. All was pretty normal and we got home with MTR. When we arrived to Tung Chung at around 01:00am, Chi* and I had the bestest idea of her coming over as well. The more the merrier, I suppose! We got some more beer from the 7/11.

She arrived in Tung Chung at 03:00am.

What started as a regular night out, with an early MTR home, ended with something quite different. Eventually we stayed up until about 07:00am and I got way too much to drink. We played a kind of a drinking game which is always a bad idea. Once we ran out of beer, we switched to Salmiakkikossu, which was even worse of an idea. I can't think of anything worse than me on strong liquor. I should know better. 我係白痴鬼佬!!
Well, I live still and I got myself a nice lesson and a reminder again why not to drink too much, especially stronger stuff. The lesson was the classic: "I will never drink again, I will never drink again, I will never drink again"-hangover.

Anyway, the evening itself was really fun so I don't complain about it, only about the aftermath. Eventually I slept more or less until 19:00 on Sunday.

Sunday evening:
So, I woke up at 19:00 finally. I had been up a few times before to remember my lessons of last night. However, at 19:00 I chose to ignore that lesson and started planning yet another night out. Chi's friend had a birthday party so of course I would attend. HKD 200 entry charge and free drinks for the rest of the evening! Even with the hangover I had had, I could not refuse. Such is the logic on man-animal.

So, we head out (Markus and Toni AKA. "The Food Boyz" joined me too) to Tsim Sha Tsui. At 22:30 we meet Chi at the MTR-station and she then leads us through the maze of Hong Kong and I find myself rather dazzled at how far we're going and whether I'd know my way back. The good thing about having locals around is that they supposedly know their way around the neighborhood - or in truth they are even more clueless and take strange detours that take longer than the one route you'd take yourself. I'm not saying it happened this time. No, wait. I am.

Well, alls good. We get there finally. A shady small bar with long tables and a few young locals who apparently are the birthday hero and a friend. We're introduced. Instantly a series of local games start. We begin with dices. Fun games actually. I know Markus and Toni really appreciated all the games because they were having the time of their lives.

More friends come over and soon we have dice-games of 8 people and more. Beer's flowing and we're all having a good time, especially Markus and Toni.

Aside from dice-games, we also had a games which names I can only translate as "Bäng, Bang, Whaaa!", "Banana Tree" and "Mona Lisa". All good fun. I won't go into details but basically they were just group games where amids talking and merry-making random things would occur. Maybe I'll explain the stuff later on a better time.

So, anyway... I had a really good time Sunday. Markus and Toni had excellent time as well and left a little early because they knew the night couldn't get any better and didn't want to see it ruined. Better to keep the good memory alive, I suppose. It is one of those classic concepts of beauty and its inevitable demise; how all that is good and pure will undeniably eventually become twisted and corrupt. I understand their views, but I just couldn't resist staying to see how it all ends.

The rest of the evening remained pretty much the same: games, beer and fun. I met a lot of cool local people, some of which actually spoke more than 10 words in English. It is surprising to see how little English a lot of the younger people here speak. Even more surprising is how happy they are to use their 10-word-vocabulary. In Finland, no one speaks English or other languages unless they're completely fluent and absolutely sure they can't make a mistake. A mistake would mean you're an evil person and not worth breathing the same air with the rest of us. Here, it's totally different. If they see some foreigner, they are actually eager to talk to improve their language by practical conversation.

While the cultural differences and culture shock and all that have been really small for me, there's always an interesting atmosphere when hanging out with locals. They are just like anyone I've known before in Finland, or anywhere else, and outside the tourist-way-of-life the books about Chinese ways and etiquette can be thrown to a bowl of hot magma. Yet it's somehow different when going out with locals. They approach having fun in different ways I'm used to, and their way of acting is quite different.

On a side note: I just got a word from Chi that last night our party spent around HKD 2,000 on beer, with bottle price being HKD 12. This means, our party of around 10 people drank all together some 160 bottles of beer.

Got home with MTR.

* Chi is the girl I've been seeing for the last one months or so, and for the sake of convenience I will refer to her as Chi from now on because it just makes no sense not to do so.

Ngoh seung yam di yeh.

Oh Frigedæg, oh Frigedæg, how I longed for you.

It is Friday again and I can't complain. It's weekend again which equals good-times for the coming few days. Also, it means I will leave for Finland in one week.

Plans for the weekend include the normal bar-round, arcades, and a local party on Sunday!

We were invited to a party on Sunday and I'm really looking forward to it! Another chance to meet a lot of locals; another chance to have fun in a way that is quite impossible normally. Last time I went to one of these things I had perhaps the best night since moving to Hong Kong. I know this time it'll be hard to beat the experience but I know it'll be fun anyway. I will tell more about it Monday.

Otherwise the weekend will be quite standard I suppose. Of course since my friend is here we will probably be in arcades substantially more but that's ok. It's fun. Maybe we ought to see some sights, too, but that's still negotiable. Need to plan as we go since long-term planning sucks and usually fails anyway. Since failing Plan A's sucks it's better not to have plans at all, eh? Hah, right.

Seems I've been writing long blog-entries for a while now, so maybe for a change I'll cut this one short. On Monday I will have more to tell.

Batman to Robin: "When you get a little older, you'll see how easy it is to become lured by the female of the species."

Hong Kong Sight-Seeing, Part 1: The Peak

Hello boys and girls!

Today I thought I'll start a segment called "Hong Kong Sight-Seeing".
I will write about local locations, foods, events, etc. in Hong Kong, on the days I have little else to write about. It's fun!

Also a motivational factor here is that quite frankly most tourist attractions are actually crap albeit marketed well. Ever had the experience of going to some place which is supposed to be like ultra-cool and when you get to the actual location, you're like: "so what the hell is this crap then?"
I have that all the time and in many places (note: this is not just about Hong Kong, though I will be writing about Hong Kong locations) and I do not like it. It's a waste of money, time and life. Every time I visit a crappy tourist attraction I die a little inside; and I will never get that back. It's gone. It's lost.

To help others avoid my mistakes, I will tell people which places in Hong Kong are worth visiting, and which are not.

Today's topic is The Peak.

I've been to The Peak a number of times already because I've had to show plenty of visitors around Hong Kong, and it is one of those classic tourism-sights and a kind of a must-see to anyone visiting Hong Kong. Fully named The Victoria Peak, The Peak is a mountain located in the Hong Kong island, and gives a good panoramic view of most of the Hong Kong island, and much of Kowloon. This of course, is strongly affected by the weather as during a bad day the visibility can be total crap.

Instead of going into a sales-speech-more, I will tell quite straight what The Peak is and what it is not.

From The Peak you can see a lot of Hong Kong. You should see it because:
- It gives a hell of a view
- It gives a good idea of just how big Hong Kong is
- You get fresh air as it is usually windy
- There is a trail (called Morning Trail) which runs about 2-3km around the Peak allowing for a nice walk and good additional views and scenery
- It is impressive during day-time and totally kick-ass after dark
- If you're into tourist-crap (souvenirs and stuff), you can get some there, but it's a bit over-priced

Things I dislike about the Peak:
- It's a tourist attraction
- It's a tourist attraction packed with Island Monkeys and other Gweilo's
- It's not that interesting actually

Seeing the scenery from the viewing terrace of the Peak Tower is a good way to grasp Hong Kong's size and grandeur. However, it's just one scene and it takes maybe 1-2 minutes to "wholly grasp" it. So, you took maybe 40 minutes to get up (queuing in line for the transportation, going up escalators, etc.), you saw the scenery and now you want to go back. It's not really a good way to spend up to 2 hours of your day.

My recommendation: Take the Morning Trail also. It's a bitch of a walk during a hot day but definitely worth it. Just take a big bottle of water with you and it'll be ok. The trail will take additional one/two hours to walk, and will definitely pay off more than just the view from the Peak Tower. Besides, during the walk, you'll get to see even better views from Hong Kong so why settle only for one?

In Hong Kong you don't get to see many vast spaces due to the cramped up buildings. It is nice to rest your eyes on a wider landscape from time to time.

You can get to the Peak by using the Peak Tram (the classic way, using a cable-pulled tram that climbs the hill in what seems like at least 45 degrees angle), or with a bus or a taxi. For first-timers, the Peak Tram is the vehicle of choice, but for trips after, the two other modes are better since the Peak Tram tends to be damned boring, packed with tourists, expensive and just plain stupid.

So yes. Go see the Peak. It is a good place to see the city. It is one of the tourist things to do. Only go during a good and clear day to make most of the scenery and take the Morning Trail to make most of your time. Just going to the Peak for the city-view is a waste of time as such.Below a random Batman quote and some pictures taken from the Peak.

Dick: "Wow! The rings of Saturn! This is sure some fun, Bruce."
Bruce: "Astronomy is more than mere fun, Dick."
Dick: "It is?"
Bruce: "Yes, it helps give us a sense of proportion. Reminds us how little we are, really. People tend to forget that sometimes."
Dick: "Gosh yes, that's right. I'll bet I see those rings a little differently this time!"

Hong Kong at night

Hong Kong day-time

View from the Morning Trail

The Morning Trail

Brave New World

"O wonder!
How many goodly creatures are there here!
How beautious mankind is!
O brave new world
That has such people in't!" - Shakespeare, The Tempest

Hong Kong, in many ways, is an upgraded version of Western cities. At least that's how I've grown to perceive it. Hong Kong is future.

Skyscrapers, new cars, masses of people, good mass transit system, neon lights, big shopping malls and a lot of business and banking. A dystopia (only slightly), with lots of rain and pollution, lots of traffic and Asian faces.

Actually, for some reason this place reminds me of the world of Blade Runner which always seemed the most plausible and realistic future world to me. Slightly gloomy, taking place in a futuristic city but still very down-to-earth and with a Chinatownish themes going on.



We don't have flying cars here yet, but I bet it won't take too long.

Oh, and below a picture of Hong Kong (taken from the Peak last year).



Granted, I haven't been to that many major cities in the West, not to mention living in them for long enough to fully understand them. For these reasons my reasoning may be faulted and based on biased conceptions from movies and television, and uneducated prejudice based on my disrespect to many aspects of western cultures. I remain confident, however, that you can't really find a city so modern and so well managed anywhere in Europe, nor the States. The cultural aspects that are required to run a society like this, the political structures and the overall resources are not found in the West.

The developed Asian societies, in my thinking, are what future looks like while the West will remain focused to boost their own imaginary importance, and cling to petty and trivial trifle's like the Western democracy and social tolerance.

Here a few thoughts of Democracy I find corresponding to my own:
"Many forms of Government have been tried, and will be tried in this world of sin and woe. No one pretends that democracy is perfect or all-wise. Indeed, it has been said that democracy is the worst form of Government except all those others that have been tried from time to time." - Sir Winston Churchill

and my favorite:
"The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter." - Sir Winston Churchill

I'm not saying we should give up democracy. I'm saying our system of government is out-dated and needs to go through a big reform to correspond to the demands of today. Now it is just a popularity contest without any real intention of changing things. Politicians play their games and claim credit for events that would've taken place anyway. How has anyone's life changed since the last elections?.. or the ones before the last one? Seriously, how much of that was really affected by anything that happened in the government, and how much would've happened anyway?

We need to change.

Now I am getting off-track, however. Maybe I'll return to politics later on since it stirs up some strong opinions in me. I'm not political though, I just have ideas.

Back to Asia and future:

I believe that many cities, for example, in Japan and Korea could offer a good alternative to all the positive things I've found in Hong Kong. It would be interesting to see some of those places actually. Hong Kong is strongly influenced by its time as a British colony and that is one clear benefit compared to most on Mainland China. I don't really like the history of how Hong Kong fell to the British and I actually find that to be one of the most despicable things of the whole Western history - equally despicable as the massacre of American Indians. But the benefits are clear for everyone to see, as I have mentioned in previous posts.

However, cities in Japan and Korea have had the change to grow with less Western influence. Of course the influence is there, but it has not been so strongly force-fed to them. They have had their own pace and own way of absorbing it.

So, is the Western culture supreme as it is thought so strongly? No, hell no. While some of the western ideals and cultural products have taken some wind and gained support in the Orient, it only means us Occidentals got at least something right.

I think that Asia will be the center of attention in the future. They have the will, the resources and the culture to do so. West will retain some of its importance but it will inevitably lose its superior position due to its inability to face the change.

As a final thing, I'd like to point out that I am not writing this because I'm against the West and/or Pro-Asia, it is just the way I've come to look at things. And I find it depressing that most people in the West just don't see it. They don't care. They don't plan ahead.

The only planning people do is for things they want for themselves in the future: a new car, a bigger house, a cabin by a lake, a boat, a private jet, a lingerie-model-wife, a steady future and nice retirement days. Only problem is, they make the plans as if everything would remain the same. They believe in the status quo and will not accept change.

What they forget is the world is changing constantly and while planning according to the status quo makes sense, one should also accept the random-factor of inevitable change.

"Without accepting the fact that everything changes, we cannot find perfect composure. But unfortunately, although it is true, it is difficult for us to accept it. Because we cannot accept the truth of transience, we suffer." - Shunryu Suzuki

"They must often change, who would be constant in happiness or wisdom." - Confucius

"He who rejects change is the architect of decay. The only human institution which rejects progress is the cemetery." - Harold Wilson

一手遮天

Within this post, I will randomly quote the classic 60's Batman.

It seems some people worry about my mental well-being after my previous post. However, I can guarantee and reassure everyone that I am as looney as the post insinuated me to be. Nothing drastic has happened that would've taken me closer to normality. I'm still insane in the membrane.

Robin: "Holy molars! Am I ever glad I take good care of my teeth!"
Batman: "True. You owe your life to dental hygiene."

I did some cooking yesterday. It's been a long while since I last did some real cooking. Lately, if cooking, I've only made some fried rice - which doesn't really require that much effort. Yesterday I made some steak-kind of things based on a Korean dish that I used as a basis for improvisation. I couldn't find sesame seeds from the local grocery store and it made me sad.

Robin: "Boy! That was our closest call ever! I have to admit that I was pretty scared!"
Batman: "I wasn't scared in the least."
Robin: "Not at all?"
Batman: "Haven't you noticed how we always escape the vicious ensnarements of our enemies?"
Robin: "Yeah, because we're smarter than they are!"
Batman: "I like to think it's because our hearts are pure."

The food turned out fine, however, and I was again happy. I was as happy as a small bird on a nice morning, seeing a little worm peeking out of the ground. And I think "oh, that's a nice worm. I think I'll have a try." Then I'd glide down from my little tree and have the bestest breakfast ever. That is how happy I was.

The funny thing about cooking here is that it's really easy to make Asian food. This may come as a surprise to many. Seriously though, making decent Asian food in Finland is really difficult when you can't find easily any of the basic ingredients. Even something as basic as the rice is all wrong there. You'd have to go to a special store to get proper rice.

Catwoman: "Let noone say that Catwoman is not the best-dressed woman in the world."
Batman: "There are no fashion shows where you're going, Catwoman."
Robin: "And how could a feline feloness like you also be a fashion model?"
Batman: "Ah-ah. Give credit where credit is due, Robin. She may be evil, but she is attractive. You'll know more about that in a couple of years."

While making Asian food here is really easy, making western (especially Finnish) food is then really difficult. You can find all the necessities but there's always some things you lack. In my case, it's an oven. I don't have a damned oven. I want an oven but they're just slightly over my budget. I mean, they're not expensive but just enough not to be attractive. Attractive like the Catwoman.

Robin, looking at Batgirl: "You know something, Batman?"
Batman: "What's that, Robin?"
Robin: "She looks very pretty when she's asleep."
Batman: "I thought you might eventually notice that. That single statement indicates to me the first oncoming thrust of manhood, old chum."

One thing I also lack in my kitchen is a dishwasher. I've always had that around before but now in Hong Kong I find myself in need of one. Damnit. Nothing is as annoying as to wash two days worth of dishes, by hand. And the worst part is that since it's already damned hot in the apartment, it doesn't really help to have hot water pouring on your hands for the whole duration of the dish-washing-action. Sweaty.

Luckily I've been smart before-hand and didn't buy too much dishes to the apartment. Now I have to clean them on steady intervals and they won't get the chance to pile up uncontrollably - unlike laundry (as explained in an earlier post).

Bruce: "Most Americans don't realize what we owe to the ancient Incas. Very few appreciate they gave us the white potato and many varieties of Indian corn."
Dick: "Now whenever I eat mashed potatos, I for one will think of the Incas."

Like most of you already probably noticed. I didn't really have anything to write about. I just wanted to quote as much of Batman as possible with a disguise of a proper post! Fooled ya! Mwahahahaha!

Robin: "Gosh, there could be diplomatic repercussions if we fail this time, Batman."
Batman: "That's not the point, Robin. What's important is that the world know that all visitors to these teeming shores are safe, be they peasant or king."
Robin: "Gee, Batman, I never thought of that. You're right."
Batman: "It's the very essence of our democracy."

Average day of a Sacrificial Lamb

"A sacrificial lamb refers to a lamb (or metaphorical parallel) killed or discounted in some way (as in a sacrifice) in order to further some other cause." - Wikipedia

Exaggeration is annoying. People do it a lot and all too often to boost their stories to a more incredible form. To impress their audience, to get those few extra admiring glances and to make their own life sound so much more valuable and exiting compared to those whom are listening, people are willing to go a long way. It's annoying.

"Sacrificial lambs", or "Sacrificial Tourists" go around living adventurous lives and experiencing all sorts of cool stuff. Yeay! Their life is so much better than yours! My life is also, like because I live in another country and everything is so much better here because it's like totally different from what you are experiencing because like different experiences are better than normal ones and back home you can only experience normal things and it's like really boring while here everything is so, so, so damned F***ing cool I almost puke all the time it's so cool!!...

Oh, I got a story!

It all started Friday afternoon. I had been working all day at my job as a Ultra-secret-Agent-Rockstar-Millionaire and I had just had a trillion dollars deal with an evil Japanese corporation. We'd been eating Japanese food and drinking Sake all day. They served a three-headed chicken with lasers in its eyes and some shark-fin soup with a living shark attached to the fin. The shark ate one of the Japanese.

After work, we went with friends to an awesome place called Bulldog's. We had some food and a few rounds of beer. The food, of course, was the bestest food I ever had and the beer there was almost certainly better too. I think they added LSD to both to enhance the experience. All the local girls were watching us and we're like the most handsome people there, so why not? However, this is one of the more expensive bar/grille's in Hong Kong and we all paid a crapload of money for it, but it was worth it, we're superior race anyway and wouldn't want to mingle with the common folk.

Forgetting what I just said, I later met a nice local girl for a date. We went to see Harry Potter's latest. The movie started 00:15 and it was like in this huge theater. All the local girls were really jealous of the girl I was out with because like they think I'm the hottest thing ever. Of course, the guys were jealous too, for the same reason.

The movie itself was really cool, but I was annoyed a few times because it is a Chinese custom to stomp their legs and kick the back of the person in front when they disapprove the actions seen on the screen. They also randomly scream out loud just to check they're alive since it's dark and everything they might pass away without anyone noticing. It's a safety precaution and totally culture-bound.

So, anyway.. after the movie, me and my date go out and decide just to walk around Hong Kong's boiling hot night. It's funny really, in Hong Kong night is actually hotter than the day. And of course the day is already unbearable. Can you believe like it's over 40 degrees every day, and 140% humidity! And that's during winter. There are no scales for weather during summer. I've seen people melt in the streets. Some try to help but there's really nothing that can be done - these things just happen, and people just spontaneously start melting on the streets.

We walk the streets and it's like really hot. But that's ok. I've lived here long enough to know that the only way to fight the hot weather is to immense myself in liquid nitrogen in 2 hour intervals. It's the local way. It takes some time to get used to but it's ok after a few times.

We sit down on a park bench to talk about stuff and this bum comes and asks us money for food. I turn him down but my date is nice enough to pay for a meal at McDonald's. She is a really sweet girl, but way too trusting. Of course the bum was in reality a member of the secret society of Crab-people's-KungFu-Liberation-Front-of-the-Dragon's-Pawn-and-
Ultimate-Awesomeness and I had to duel him in mortal combat. However, this side-plot is way too cool ever to be put into words in such a short post of a blog. If you weren't there to see it, it's your loss.

Damn it was cool!

Anyway, it takes until 7am this day of mine. I was with my date, and I realize I should go to the airport to pick my friend up who is coming from Finland.

So, since the metro was closed and the buses had all been destroyed by the army of YaoGuai ("Yaoguai are mostly malevolent animal spirits that have acquired magical powers through the practice of Taoism." - Wikipedia), we had to run to the airport on the roofs of buildings (it's a Chinese custom). It took us long but we made it in time.

My friend's flight was 4 hours late and we had to live in the airport, eating roots of plastic plants (it's a Chinese survival method). I also had to eat a puppy because I was a bit more hungry after the duel earlier. However, eating puppies is completely acceptable in China. If you see a puppy somewhere, you can go to its owner and say "Hello, could I please eat your cute puppy since I am famished!". Due to a culture-bound unwritten rule, the owner of the puppy has to agree and not object. This works with any animal. Sometimes with children as well. It's cultural difference so I don't complain, I just live with it.

Upon my friends arrival we took a taxi to my apartment. The taxi was one of those new Hong Kong style flying cars that are like cool and have laser beams. We had to scare of some space pirates from the future away but aside from that it was a rather routine trip. The taxi driver really knew what he was doing.

Do I need to remind you that until now I had been staying up for 67 hours. I didn't have any sleep during the week because my life is better than yours and it's a Chinese culture thing too.

After my friend unpacked his stuff we went to MongKok which is a shopping area in Hong Kong. It's full of beautiful women. All the women think I'm hot because I'm foreign. So, we go there to play in some arcades and check out the traffic. Arcades in Hong Kong are way too cool! It's like full of cute girls and a few guys and they're like playing cool Japanese games that are a lot better than any game in Finland. Also, the girls are like all dressed up like their favorite game characters - just like every Caucasian nerd's wet dream. So, if you're a Caucasian nerd, you can have a wet dream now.

After the Arcade we went to a bar where there were only good looking girls too. You couldn't imagine how hot we all were there. Girls everywhere, looking at us and giggling. It's incredible!

We got back home at 05:00 after running from TsimShaTsui, on the roofs of buildings.

The next morning my friend complained that he had had ants in his bed. Only, they weren't normal ants, they were like huge human-eaters (we only have them in Hong Kong) and after I found their lair under my sofa, we had to fight them using shovels and kitchen knives. We ended up throwing a few down the balcony and below I think they crushed a few unsuspecting pedestrians.

That's pretty much how my weekend went. I won't go into Sunday because that was even cooler and more incredible, and it would take at least a 600 page book to cover that. My life is so damned amazing here!

Oh, and if this story wasn't good enough, add a few dragons and firestorms, and an underground volcano erupting under Hong Kong during which I had to save a dozen local lingerie-model-virgin-nymphomaniacs from certain death. You all know where that leads, don't you. It's a Chinese custom.

Attention customers. Testicles. That is all.

All hail Frigedæg! Frigedæg the Magnificent!

Finally! Precious Friday is upon us yet once again! How we all have waited for this day. How all the expectations and hopes of the passed week are so nicely focused on the three magical letters in the calendar: Fri.

It indeed is a glorious day again!

For the next few weeks my daily routine will be a little disrupted by a friend coming from Finland. This, of course, is a most welcomed event and it shall be interesting to tour around Hong Kong again with someone who has not yet been here. Also, today is the ETA Two-weeks for my Finland trip! A lot of stuff happening and I can't complain. It will be fun getting in touch with friends and family in Finland again.

Today I will go out again with the nice girl I've been seeing for a while now. We're going to see the new Harry Potter movie (can't even remember the name, hah) which ought to be fun. I'm not a Potter fan as such but the movies are ok. I suppose the books could be really good too, but for some reason I just can't seem to find any motivational factor within me to read those books. I don't really care much for the plot, the characters or the general world they live in. Of course these kind of opinions are quickly changed but as for the time being, no, I will not read the books. The movies offer me enough entertainment.

Talking about books, in fact, I've been reading quite a lot of them since I came to Hong Kong. I got bored of just sitting in the metro when traveling to and from work so I decided to try a book.

I began with Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams which I found at one bookstore on sale. I read it in a week or so and found myself quickly wanting to read more.

So I went to a bookstore again, looking for the next book.

Originally I wanted to read something from Pratchett but I couldn't find anything from him at the bookstore I stumbled into. However, I found books from Michael Crichton. I looked at his books in the shelf: Congo, Jurassic Park, Sphere, Eaters of the Dead (13th warrior), The Lost World, Rising Sun, Andromeda Strain, etc. I realized I had actually seen most of these books as movies already, never realizing they actually were based on books, from a single author. So, I decided I should give his books a go. I took Congo (based on the fact that I didn't like the movie much and I assumed the book would be better (since I thought the movie also had a lot of potential which it never lived out)) and started reading. I was instantly hooked and it didn't take me more than a few days to finish it. So I bought more and more. Now I have almost all Crichton's books in my shelf.

Once I'm finished with Crichton, I think I will finish up with Adams. I only read the first part of the Trilogy (of five books) so I think I should read them all. After all, I saw it as a movie first too.

Oh, and if someone is looking for a good book to read, try Crichton's State of Fear. And in general, if you liked the movies based on Crichton's books, please read the books as well. They are so much better in every way possible.

Ok, moving on.

I have made up my mind about learning the Cantonese language now.
This will be my written proclamation.

I will not be taunted by kung-fu-speaking people, nor will I be taunted by the impossible number of different tones and ways of pronunciation. I will prevail, I am supreme!

I have lived in Hong Kong for more or less 1½ years and still I can't even engage in basic conversation... except maybe amuse locals by shouting random insults and taking part in their conversation by agreeing (basically just repeating: "haia haia haia") with what has been said. It always gives a few smirks and outright smiles.

I will start with the previously mentioned:
"Yiu-ng-yiu daai ngawn-chewn-mo aa?" (do I need a helmet?), move to;
"Tai-fun-gay sik-jaw ngaw jeung kaat." (the ATM took my card), and then;
"Siu haa hing-sung haa gay ho aa." (it helps to have a sense of humor)

Once I will master those immortal and all-important one-liners, I can move to the actual language. Pronunciation is the key to learning the language. The biggest obstacle comes it, and if I can get it right, it should be easier to learn. Grammar in Chinese is rather easy and as such should pose no problem. It is just the problem of getting my message across, like mentioned in the earlier post about this topic.

NOTE: The sentences I just wrote down may look easy, but I didn't include the tones. If you just pronounce them like that, it is likely no one will understand what you said. You may get some words right by accident, but it's not enough. Either you have to get all of it right, or at least enough so rest can be deducted from context.

I have some study books with audio-CD's and I have a few phrase books. I also have that nice local girl, who is already teaching me some of the basics, which is nice.

I will concentrate on speaking and listening, not the written language. Written language, at this point, is not so important and would probably only distract me from the most important thing: being able to communicate in Cantonese.

Thus ends my written proclamation. I will learn the language, I am determined now.

Camera Obscura

May I have your attention, please! If you look to your left-hand side, you can see a new page element with the title of "Camera Obscura". That is the official picture gallery of this blog and will feature pictures of adventurous adventures and close-to-death experiences experienced here in Hong Kong.

"The camera obscura (Lat. dark chamber) was an optical device used in drawing, and one of the ancestral threads leading to the invention of photography." - Wikipedia

Okay, moving on.

Today is Thursday so it's only one more day again 'till weekend. Which is nice. Weeks here, as many of you already know, consist mostly of waiting for the next weekend. To be honest, I think it's actually kind of sad how most of the week is just considered a "waste". Weekends pass quickly, having a good time, and once Monday strikes, you're just left to wait for the next weekend.

I suppose the week's aren't that bad either but everything just feels rather trivial and unimportant. The days don't really have much contents as such, and therefore feel a bit unimportant.

A little melancholy here, sorry about that.

It's such a nice day outside I think I'll leave work a bit early and do a small walkabout - just enjoying the sunshine. If the daily routines seem boring and repetitive maybe it's time to break the routine a bit.

So there ya have it. I'll be off now. To enjoy this day.

I will be adding more pictures to the gallery later. Now I only had some older ones I stored earlier in the office; I need to bring some newer ones from home too. Hong Kong is such an awesome place there's always things and people to take pictures of. Sweet!

NOTE: Yahoo's Literati is a dumb game and only stupid people play it.

Carpe noctem

Seize the night! Night's in Hong Kong, and the night-life here are a lot longer than in Finland. I stay up longer, and I party* longer.
*NOTE: In my case to "party" means a prolonged evening drinking beer in a good company, not time spent in a nightclub dancing to upbeat music and fooling myself to thinking I look good by doing so (only happened once).

For some reason it is easier to stay up long here. I don't really understand it myself but usually back in Finland I would drop out around 2-3am after a "party". However here, we can continue easily until even 5am, sometimes to 6am - AND still take a bus home and arrive around 6-7am (latest I've arrived home, I think, is around 09:00). In Finland, this would've been totally out of the question.

Of course it helps that many places are open really late here. Meaning there are actual bars that close as late as 6am. After which you can just go to the closest 7/11 and get a few additional cold Tsingtao's and head for the nearest park or something.

Aside from partying, my sleeping rhythm has changed too. While in Finland I would require a steady 8 hours of good sleep to survive a day, here I can manage with less. Just last night I slept only for 5 hours and I'm still live and kicking. Fun.

Anyway;

Generally the night-life in Hong Kong is very nice. People are and act much smarter by average and I never feel threatened in any way. The prices of the normal places we go to are not that much different from Finland but I've been getting good intelligence information on some more local places where the prices should be a lot more "reasonable".

General population of a typical Gweilo-bar is:
- 30% native Hong Kong/Chinese people
- 68% Island Monkeys and other Gweilo's
- 2% Philippino-band.
- A random number of service personnel

Groups of people consisting of local people seem to be very nice and decent, and there for honest fun while the Phillipino-band just plays their every-night-the-same-set-of-songs. The Island Monkeys usually concentrate on making as much noise as possible and make indecent suggestions to the local women, Phillipino-band female vocalists, and the poor unsuspecting waitresses of the bar - thus making me very, very sad if ever I was mistaken as one of them.

Of course all the local women, the Phillipino singers, and the bar maids are really happy to get a Gweilo's attention! I mean, who wouldn't? Seriously, it's probably really nice to know that there are still 50-year-old red-faced foreign men, speaking drunkish-gibberish, who find your 20 year-old exotic face and slim body attractive;
and who think that you would find that Pride of Darwin, King of the Gene-pool, Alfa-Male, Ruler of all Creation, and in every way a Prime Specimen of Human Race equally attractive.
...And imagine the thrill to be reminded of that every damn single night, for at least ten times. It must be awesome!

Do these people actually think the women here like that? I mean, seriously? How clueless you have to be to think that?

I don't know. Sometimes it just pisses me off I suppose.

Anyway, I am going to Finland in less than 3 weeks. I will try my best to avoid any drinking houses there since I'm painfully aware that they show the very worst of human behavior, especially that of Finns - whom of course are really, really great and all that! Yes, Finns are the best people on this planet. Go Finland!

I know the bar culture in Finland well enough to know I should avoid it. Going out with friends is still ok. Just not to bars. Not too much anyway.

NOTE: Gweilo is a Cantonese name for "foreigners". It used to be a negative word to describe Europeans and Americans but these days it is quite neutral, and in common use.

On the coming week

Ah, yet another glorious new week in Hong Kong SAR.

Let's look at the seven day weather forecast for the week (provided by the Hong Kong Observatory) as we all like to discuss weather.



Looks good, doesn't it? ~27-33 for the whole week and only small amounts of rain. Sunshine and happiness for all it seems! Yeay!

Relative humidity high as always but changing a shirt per day has become such a habit here I don't even care about it anymore. Sucks, however, to wash three machine-fulls of clothing during the laundry-day. The proper, decent and the only way to deal with this problem properly (of course) is to buy more clothes. This will decrease the interval in which laundry must be washed, albeit during the laundry-day there will be even more machine-fulls to deal with. However, that is the kind of long-term thinking I find despicable.

I am glad to also point out, that my feet are almost healed from last week's experience. The memory still lives on and I will cherish it dearly - and it will be my telltale to my grandchildren by the fireplace.

Aside from the weather, this week should be interesting. Well, "relaxing" would be a better word I suppose. For work, I will hopefully experience a significant decrease in workload, and for the after-work activities I suppose drinking small doses of beer and playing PS2 games isn't that bad of an option.

Need to play some badminton too. I heard the "real world" has some kick-ass graphics and a good 3D-engine.

I know I'll get some flame for this, but what the hell is the point of playing computer/console games of things you could do in real life? I mean, yes, a cooking game? Why not cook for real? A sports game (i.e. tennis)? Why not just go out and play tennis? A 1st person shooter? Yes?.. The list goes on. Oh, and below a quote from Pain of Salvation I find suiting to the topic:

"Can someone please just tell me what happened? I mean, first we pay for fastfood that will make us all fat and tired; so then we pay for elevators so we won’t have to climb the three stairs up to our apartments.
Then we buy freakin’ StairMaster machines so we can burn away while watching someone make real food on TV"
- Pain of Salvation, "Kingdom of Loss"

Indeed.

Well, I eat too much fast food, that's for granted. I mean, you go to a McDonald's or KFC and you get a perfectly good meal for HKD 25. If I did home cooking, it'd probably cost more and also take up quite a lot of time. So what's the point of home-cooking here? Oh right, it's healthier.

Anyway, off to lunch now. More to come tomorrow.

All new kind of pain.

While I wait for my washing machine to fix me some clean clothes so I can go out to shop some more clothes, I have plenty of time to write down the adventures of past week.

As mentioned before, I was in Mainland China for a few days. Not too far away or for long - just Shenzhen and Dongguan but I still stayed there for the night. I was there on a business trip to review some factories and as such there was nothing spectacular about it.

However, after the dinner (of all sorts of awesome Chinese food, but also including chicken feet and such delicasies I care not for) Wednesday evening, my host decided we must get a foot massage!

Before I continue, two points:
1. Getting a massage may not seem a masculine option of spending an evening for many Europeans, but in China it is very common.
2. The place we went to was actually for massages, and not for 'other things.'

So, anyway. We go in. Nice setting. A lot of cute young Chinese girls dressed in traditional Chinese clothes that made up their uniforms. Everything is tidy and clean, and the overall appearance of the place is quite grand. I like it.

We are taken to a big room with maybe 10 lazy-chairs.

At this point it's probably worthwhile to mention that our party consisted of myself, 3 other men and 3 women - all business partners or representatives of the factory.

So, we all take seats and crowd of Chinese girls come in with a buckets of hot water into which they add some herbal bath. Ok. Feet in first and while our feet soak in the bath, they start with a back massage. Awesome! So far so good.

Maybe ten minutes later we're instructed to take our feet out of the water and the nice Chinese girls wiped them dry and started the actual foot massage.

Everyone in our party had their own designated girl. Mine was probably the youngest, really cute and quite small in size (maybe 40kg or something). No complaints here.

So the massage starts. PAIN! Ohshitcrapdamnwhaddahell! My idea of a foot massage was a gentle and nice event with relaxing atmosphere, but what was happening was not it! She grinded her knuckles deep into my sole and I felt a sharp and strong pain as she kept on doing it on and on. Auch! Seriously, auch! With watery eyes I try to keep my game-face on. I look around and seems most people are going through the same thing as I am. Relieved, I turn to the guy next to me and comment how it feels nice.

I look at the Chinese girl, she looks up and smiles.

The massage took maybe one hour and of that one hour, maybe fourty minutes introduced me into an all kind of new pain. I never knew a small, nice Chinese girl could hurt a big man so.

To all my worried readers I can reassure, however:

I did not cry.

It was hard not to but I managed to keep my cool and pretend as if I was actually enjoying it.

Now, a few days later my feet feel great. Slowly being recovered.

So yeah, the massage was a traditional Chinese foot massage, which is used to find problems in the body and trying to fix them.

"It is the practice of stimulating nerves on the feet, hands and ears, to supposedly encourage a beneficial effect on some other parts of the body, or to try to improve general health." - Wikipedia

For reference, below a "map" of the human body.



This post will be really long, but can't be helped. There's one more thing I would like to write about.

Ever been to a cleanroom?

Before Thursday, I hadn't even considered needing to go into one. Turns out, however, that the factory we were visiting on Thursday needed to use cleanroom approach on their manufacturing facility to keep particles out of the products. So, on the factory tour, I got to experience the authentic Dr. No-laboratory atmosphere. Sweet! Unfortunately I couldn't take pictures there, but here's a one from the internet which resembles my experience quite closely.



So, yeah.. the whole factory was one big cleanroom. Everytime we switched from room to another, we'd go through a small room one by one in which huge fans would clean our clothes of whatever particles we might carry. Also the floors were sticky so all the dust would stay there and not be carried around by us. Some of the rooms had a maximum people count so that only a number of people could be present at any given time. This was to control temperature and also the particles and stuff. Really weird stuff. But fun.

I also felt very fashionable.

Anyway, that concludes my Wednesday/Thursday-post. I went to Shenzhen on Friday too for a meeting but aside from a totally insane driver, nothing surprising there. Friday evening I actually went to bed already at 22:40 because I was damned tired. Maybe more adventures today and on Sunday. I'll post on those on Monday maybe.

Now, off to see if my washing machine has my clothes ready for me.

Oh, and below a picture of those "chicken feet" we ate. They're actually called "Phoenix talons" in Chinese.. hah, makes it sound more fancy but the truth is, they're still just damned chicken feet with the bones and everything.

Of surprises and stuff.

So, Friday sucked. Sucked not too bad, but sucked nevertheless. I got semi-drunk, watched half of Bram Stockers (sp) Dracula and went to sleep before midnight. Plan B's are like the rear end of a rhinoceros who just had a meal of hot Indian curry.

Saturday, too, sucked.

Well, we did get a PS2 to rid ourselves of the last fragments of "life" we had. It's better this way. No pain, just numb. Let the plasma-tv suck the life out of you. Challenged Markus in some fighting game which name I can't even remember and got my ass kicked. Terribly.
My only defence is that I don't really play games on consoles, let alone fighting games. Getting ones ass whooped is never nice though. Need some practise.

Anyhow. On Sunday I went to see the fireworks in celebration of the 10th anniversary of the Hong Kong handover to PRC (mentioned in previous post). It was most brilliant again, seeing tax-payers money at work - blown to bits. To wonderfull bits of bright colours and booms! Well, so far I haven't paid one single dime of taxes here so what do I care?

Sunday all and all was pretty much the perfect day for me, especially the evening and night. Hah, I won't go into details but let's just say that strange things are afoot. More to follow.

Oh, and I will be away for a few days in China so I won't be posting untill maybe Friday. Let's see. So much happening, so busy. So little time and so little energy. But as surely as the old T-800 model, I'll be back.

Sorry if you find any typos. I had a few beers, I'm tired and I'm in no condition of reading the text again to check for errors.