The unspeakable horrors of Hallow Een.

"If you shoot at mimes, should you use a silencer?" - Steven Wright

I don't like Halloween. I don't like it one bit.

As such, there is nothing wrong in it but mostly this has to do with my hate towards imported and/or superficial holidays. I mean, come on! The Scottish and the Irish brought the Halloween celebration to America where it thrived - and now this tradition is pouring back to, well, everywhere.

In Hong Kong, Halloween is everywhere! I went to a bar yesterday after work to have a beer, and the staff was dressed up in stupid costumes and the place was decorated accordingly to match the theme. This could also be seen in numerous other places too, like grocery stores, cafes, and so on.

Why do these people celebrate Halloween? They have no cultural background for it. It's just imported because it's seen in TV, and it looks 'fun'. They don't need it, they never did. It's just another stupid consumer party. Buy all this crap you don't need and have yet another excuse to 'go wild'.

I wonder what will happen when the corporates runs out of new ideas; will they start to do two-part holidays. We could have Valentines Day in the spring, and then in the autumn we could have 'Valentines Day 2 - the special day for true friends'.

If people really worried about the effects of climate change, or the growing influence of communism, or the general stupidity of human race, they would stop these damned stupid superficial holidays.

My solution is simple: to provide all that crap you buy during these special days your local stores need to buy them cheap from China. In China, as we all know, all evil is brewed and they release tons of toxins in the air while making these products. Also, the stores are paying nifty for the products, so China's wealth increases and so does the power of Communism! So, by educating people not to buy the crap you don't only make them smarter (like me), you also stop the climate change and destroy communism.

In fact, I've been lead to believe that Halloween is only an evil joint-conspiracy of the Capitalists and Communists to take over the world! Both their names start with a 'C' --- what other proof do you need!??

Again, it's all very simple:
'C' as in Candy
'C' as in 'triCk or treat'
'C' as in 'JaCk the Pumpkin King'

So, you see... all these words and phrases have the letter 'C'. And the list goes on! It's amazing I'm the only one who has noticed these incredible similarities. I can't believe this all could be just a coincidence.

I'm sure it's a conspiracy.

Oh, and at our local McDonald's there's a sales person by the name LeTurbo. But there's nothing funny about that.